Hurrah.......out the house twice in one weekend and don't just mean poking head out into back garden or going round block but proper fully fledged out and about ness. Hope tis the end of the snow. Took our daughter to her 1st art exhibition......we listened hard when they said 'start 'em young'. Turns out she was more interested in the lights than the paintings but hey ho, was therapeutic recapturing some of our former, childless activity.
Had another argument with Scruff about my thoughts on his Alpha parental role and the fact that I sometimes feel like he goes about things as if he were a single parent although he pointed out that I spend more time with her; feed her more often than not; choose what she wears; help her bath; carry her round in papousse when we're out and about. He, on the other hand, decides how many layers she has on when she goes out; to wash her dummy and then give the same one back to her after she's dropped it on the floor; he changes her nappy; he gets her dressed at the weekend. I know I really need to stop and concentrate on the things I can and do do for her and be grateful I have such a loving and understanding partner but that's really tough sometimes especially when I've got all the new motherly instincts/hormonal imbalances still to deal with. He doesn't really get that though, he's a man. A lovely one at that but something deep inside me nags away constantly saying all that, that's your job, you know that, why aren't you fighting harder?
Sunday, 17 January 2010
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It's weird. Because I was able to do all of those things, I had no qualms whatsoever about Marion doing them all! I bet you will find a whole lot of Mums who would be happy that their partner / husband / wife is around enough to be able to do all of those things. You need the break at the weekend. Enjoy it. Seriously. Getting Max dressed and changing his nappy is no fun and the one who does it definitely draws the short straw. Changing his bum brings me no closer to him - these days it just pisses him off. I know that none of that is the point, but I am just trying to give you a bit of perspective. I am sure there are a million and one things that you can't do because of your injury but I honestly wouldn't dwell on shit like nappy changing. Please don't misunderstand me - I'm not downplaying your feelings. I have my own hundred and one issues about Max being raised by 2 Mums, lack of male role model etc. etc. Actually, feel a new blog entry coming on....
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