Friday, 29 January 2010

Been really tired today. Up all day for the first time in a week dealing with a demanding baby girl. She's very spirited but some days you just don't feel like you've got enough energy to feel like crap AND deal with a baby. Even when they are your own.

Anyway, I can't believe she's nearly 8 months old. The time is going so fast. Sometimes I feel guilty because I think about my future and my need to work and get out there for my sake yet I know each time I dwell on that, I miss a little bit of the first year of her life. I read somewhere that it is now strongly advised that new mothers really ought to dedicate spending the first year of life with their baby as it significantly
strengthens bonding. I do recognise that sentiment and think I will regret it if I don't. However I also feel like I have never felt so grounded and contented with my personal life that I can finally afford to lend my working life some genuine attention and energy, something I have been desperate but never really in a position to do since I was injured in 1998. We will see what life unveils. The most important thing is that i am the best mother I can be. How I go about achieving that yet remains
to be seen.

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