Thursday, 28 January 2010

Ian has interview for new contract tomorrow, fingers crossed. He's still working 1 day a week for MAC but 1 day a week doesn't pay the mortgage, even at contractor rates. Anyway, simultaneously I have just discovered that my PA/Amelie's physical help has 4 weeks holiday outstanding which need to be taken by end of March and I currently have no cover back up plan. I am putting this down to a few things: 1. Constantly being waylaid by a 7 month old baby; 2. Trying to avoid going through the whole rigmaroll of employing someone new to help as a cover person and trying to convey the ins and outs of spinal injury, disabled parenting without them thinking I'm some freak on wheels and them realising that, actually, is not as way out as people may perceive; 3. Actually not wanting to go through the whole palava only to finally establish that I really don't like them and they are a freak (just without the wheels!) 4. Not wanting to open my family up to vulnerability, knowing it takes a while to get to know someone and that the majority of references don't mean much when you are letting them in to your home, your marriage, your personal and your brand new gorgeous baby girl's life.

I just have to get on and sort it out though and ignore all those significant feelings of uncertainty. Never mind building bloody robots to help people do things, why don't these clever people just try cutting out the middle man/robot and concentrate on helping the people THEMSELVES? Amazing what's staring you in the face when you just take a step back and have a look.

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